Memories

I don’t know if this is a creative people “thing” or a completely random occurrence but have you ever felt unsure when looking back at certain scenes and moments of your life and you can’t for the life of you figure out whether it was real,  fiction, or a dream?

I don’t know if this is something that happens because subconsciously you want to forget and your mind is doing you a favour by making the memory so muddled and filled with questions that you don’t even know what reality is anymore.

I started writing a “memories book”, where I just let my fingers lead the way on the keyboard as my mind wanders back and I am putting down what I can recall, whether it’s the reality or a dream or a bit of both. Maybe some things in life seem so unreal because we simply cannot fathom we did those things, we saw those things, or we were those people. Maybe it just seems too unreal to be real?

My memory has never been great so I definitely don’t have a great head start. I also spent a lot of my childhood in my own head, I don’t think if this is how others feel? I spent a lot of time thinking,  wondering, dreaming, reading. I think all the different stories I had in my head are intertwining with my actual memories. 

I could compare it to thinking back to a movie you once watched but you can’t remember if a particular scene was in there or are you thinking of another similar movie. Was this or that actress playing the lead role? Did they actually say this quote or am I thinking of something I’ve seen on the Internet? - it’s kind of like that. 

I think mysterious memories and vivid dreams add a touch of vibrancy to our lives, especially if you’re creative. It can be a source of inspiration, a place that gives you words, colours, unlikely stories, endings, and beginnings. Our brain is definitely making our lives more interesting and confusing at the same time.

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